Oh, thanks very much folks.
Hey, don't crowd me fans.
This is Adam.
Hey, this is Joe and Welcome to another coke new music podcast here.
Yeah, you know sadly this is our penultimate podcast We can't explain why
Why can't we explain?
We just can't.
It's a mystery.
It's a mystery!
It's out of Arthur C. Clarke's Mysterious World.
It's like the Sasquatch, Bigfoot, the Chupacupacupabra, and Nessie.
It's one of life's mysteries.
Yeah.
But it's been a year of amazing musical fun that we've had here on the Coke Podcasts, and for the next couple of shows, we are going to be going on a bit of a magical mystery tour, reliving some of our favourite musical moments from the past year.
Yeah, it's like one of those clip shows that you get at the end of a season of a sitcom or The Simpsons or something, where they flashback to highlights, right?
Yes, but unlike one of those shows, which I often find very disappointing, we are going to be supplying you with brand new bits of enjoyable chat in between.
Lunks.
Lunks of chat, chatlunks.
Chatlunks, hunks of link, lunks.
Brand new lunks in between each track.
But let's get going right now with one of the most successful bands from our tenure here.
Yeah, you know, the Coca-Cola New Music podcast has touched the lives of many young bands in a very significant way.
since we started a year ago, we've bought the finger of fame and fortune to tweak at the nipples of many a young rock musician.
Is that not true?
That is true, but I'm glad that it was just the nipples.
I was expecting the finger of fame and fortune.
Luckily, it's recently had some interventionist therapy, so it just tweaks the nipples now.
Don't go there.
Don't go.
Oh, the finger.
So what we're going to do this fortnight is every time we play you a record that's kind of been a smash and discovered by this podcast, after it we're going to tell you what's happened to that band.
Some of what we tell you might be made up.
And when I say some, he means all of it.
We have no actual factual information.
But you know, a guess is as good as a fact.
Is it?
I think, in this context.
There you go.
Scientific rigour.
This is exactly the kind of thing that is bringing the edifice of television crumbling down, you know.
It's true.
Hey, the media is just a big bucket of lies and we're no different.
No.
The only difference is that we're honest about our lies.
Plus, we've got great music in our lie bucket.
Yeah.
Like this one from Olympus Mons.
You know what?
I think they are going to be A-listers and they are going to have it all.
That's Olympus Mons and Follow You Down.
Now, we don't actually have
like a concrete set of facts or anything like that but we've heard very good things about the band and their progress and if they're not signed already they're certainly just on the verge they've been playing a load of festivals this summer and i think that that's not the last you're gonna hear from the monsters
Yeah?
Yeah, I'm looking forward to picking up their album in a shop.
So am I. Yeah, but like paying for it.
Oh, you'd actually pay for it?
Yeah, I'd give them my money.
No, you see, I'd pie-pop it back down.
Pie-pop?
I'd pie-pop it back down.
I'd do a little pie-pop on it.
What's a pie-pop?
That!
Yeah, let's not dwell on that anyway.
You pick it up.
What do you think a pie-pop is?
A little pop you do after you've had a pie that's exactly the same dimensions as the pie.
So you eat like a little, one of those mini, what are they called?
So you eat, like, a mini pork pie.
Yes.
Yes.
Pops out.
Correct.
Exactly the same, but a different colour.
Anyway.
Gee, it didn't take us long, folks, did it, to get into the lavvy?
What were you so worried about?
Yeah?
You all worried because we didn't mention the toilet in our first link?
Well, now we're there, so it's fine.
But listen, let's get out of the toilet and talk about the world of fame and fortune, where some of the bands we'll be playing today will be residing very shortly.
One of the favourite things I read over the summer in a newspaper was this
description of a typical week in the life of the Mexican film director, Alfonso Cuarón.
He's a bit of a genius.
He directed one of the Harry Potter films.
He directed, uh, Children of Men, which is fantastic.
Did he direct that?
Yeah.
That is fantastic.
He directed, uh, A Little Princess was his first film, I do believe, and he directed the, uh, bisexual, older lady and Mexican teen erotic road, uh,
Thriller, um... E2 Mama Tambien.
E2 Mama Tambien.
And Your Mama Too.
And Your Mama... Joe just gave me an obscene finger gesture while he was saying that.
Yeah, that's part of the title.
Right.
I didn't realise that.
Yes, so before you mock him, or envy his glamorous diary, think about the gift of entertainment he's given you.
Listen, I love the gift of entertainment he's given me and I'm certainly not returning it.
Anyway, I'm just envious, I am, I'm envious of his typical week, because check this out.
Tuesday,
I was sailing around the Mediterranean with my old friend the Mexican filmmaker Alejandro González Iñárritu.
Is that Mexican?
It's a grotesque caricature of a Mexican.
So now Joe, when I read portions of this typical week in the life of Alfonso Cuarón, would you like me to use an absolutely grotesque stereotypical accent?
What a sort of Speedy Gonzales Mexican accent.
That kind of thing I was thinking.
From the early 40s.
Yeah, or would you like me to use a more accurate, more respectful accent?
Like a brilliantly authentic.
Yeah, yeah.
The former.
Okay, the grotesque caricature.
Yes, please.
Tuesday.
Sailing around the Mediterranean with my old friend the Mexican filmmaker Alejandro González Iñárritu and our families on our way to the Ischia Film Festival.
Why don't you just read it out in a normal... I mean, he probably has a normal voice.
Do you think he does?
Yeah, he probably speaks in like, you know, middle American averageness.
I'm going to abandon the grotesque caricature.
So, a typical week in the life of Alfonso Cuaron, the Mexican film director, basically sounds like an amazing dream come true.
Take, for example, Thursday.
My wife and I visited some thermal swimming pools.
I jumped into a 45 degree pool and then into a freezing one.
You know, I think you skipped a bit there.
I think he made passionate love to his wife all night and marveled at how healthy their sexual relationship was and how making love was just as good after 15 years of marriage as it was on the very first night.
In the evening, I received a World Filmmaker Award.
An Italian pop star sang and Hilary Swank made me dance.
It was highly embarrassing.
That's just a typical Thursday and that's one of the more boring days.
Listen to this, Adam Buxton.
I've had, me, Joe Cornish, I've had dinner with Hilary Swank.
Have you?
Yeah.
That doesn't mean shit to me, okay?
Award.
Yeah.
He's given an Italian filmmaker award.
Yeah.
We've won award.
We've won award.
We do have won award.
Yeah.
So we've won award.
Yeah.
We've hosted award ceremonies.
But this is all just on Thursday.
I know, but celebrity party, we've been to celebrity parties.
Not all on the same day.
I bet we've had days similar to that.
Where were you when you were reading that article?
In a bin?
No, you weren't.
You were in a large house in the south of France by a pool.
Yeah, it was nice.
I was on holiday.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's your point?
My point is that there's not that much difference between him and you.
I don't know.
He's more good-looking.
That's true.
He's made all them films.
Yeah.
And he's successful.
But you shouldn't envy other people's lives.
Why?
Because you'll just end up doing something illegal.
to them or to yourself.
It's too late for that.
You'll drive yourself mad.
Yeah, okay, fair enough.
I'm convinced.
Come on man, just cheer yourself up with another band that have distinguished themselves here on the Coca-Cola New Music Podcast.
Here's one we really liked by a band brilliantly named Abandon Hope, Abandon Hope, and this is a track called Spaced Out.
Yeah, that's uh, Brills.
Do you know that word?
Brillpants.
Brills, it's a word the kids are using on the street.
It's a derivation from Brillpants.
It, uh, Brillopants, yeah.
No, Brillpants.
Brillpants?
Yeah.
What are they?
They're like, uh, well, it's just an expression.
Brillpants.
Brillpants.
That was, uh, A Band on Hope with Spaced Out.
That's even better the second time hearing it there than it was the first.
You know, that's a great record, and we wish him
Or them, the very best of luck.
They deserve to be very successful.
Hey, hey, look at this.
Don't abandon hope.
Exactly.
Don't abandon hope.
Yeah.
Abandon hope.
Abandon hope.
Because you are wicked, innit?
Wicked, innit?
Yeah.
So, we started this Coca-Cola podcast when, Adam?
Ten years ago?
Ten years ago.
Now, when did we really start it, though?
In the 80s.
One year ago.
One year ago.
And what an amazing year it's been for music.
How many amazing changes have happened?
How?
New bands?
New youth movements.
You know, when we started this podcast, Lily Allen was just a kind of sick joke in the mind of... Keith Allen.
Keith Allen.
Is that true?
Was Lily Allen not famous when we started?
She was... our record was in the charts.
I tell you who wasn't famous when we started.
Kate Nash.
Kate Nash.
The MySpace generation, that's grown up in the last 12 months.
That's true.
What about new youth fashion trends in the last 12 months?
What's happened?
Wearing stuffed bumblebees.
Yeah, that's true.
As eye shades.
And also... Flippers.
Flippers, yeah.
Flippers on the feet.
Wearing leg warmers on your elbows.
Yeah.
Public urination.
I know, what is the deal with that?
Kids are crazy about just, you'll be talking to a kid in a shop, they'll just wee themselves.
Just wee?
Because of course it's not like you can't wee in the street, that's illegal.
No.
But there's no law against just weeing in your pants and that, for the kids, is the thing now, apparently.
That's the big thing that everybody has to do to be cool.
Oh, I'm wading my pants.
Yeah, all right, well done.
Shut up about it, will you?
You know, in all honesty, I think the new look that's started up among kids in the last 12 months is that kind of emo, that super emo look, the sort of goth emo hybrid.
That's the crow, isn't it?
Is it?
No, it's newer than the crow.
They look like Brandon Lee.
I know it's newer, but it's... Can I describe it?
Go on, then.
It's incredibly tight jeans.
And they're sagging slightly, so they're still hanging on to the bum-revealing thing, but the jeans have become tight.
And then it's a studded leather belt hanging down at a sort of jaunty angle, right?
Who do we have to blame?
Then it's a hooded top with a sort of spirally, intricate design on it.
And then it's an oversized baseball cap with fluorescent skull and crossbones on.
Then it's a lip piercing and a nose piercing and some eyeliner.
Blame.
Blame?
Blame.
Who do we blame?
Blame.
Who can we blame?
Madeley.
There we go, that's Michael Knight with Waves to the Shore.
I wonder what he's been doing over the last year.
He's been looking after his granny a lot.
She's been ill, so he's been taking her to the pool for physiotherapy.
Yeah, carry on.
None of this is true.
He's also been reading a lot.
What's he been reading?
Well, he's got very into the Barkman books, the horror books Stephen King wrote, you know, pseudonymously.
He's very into them.
Did he get the new Harry Potter?
He doesn't like Harry Potter, no.
Why, what's the problem?
He thinks they're all the same.
He thinks it's just the same story over and over again.
Wait, wait, wait.
And he thinks that all they ever say is, Harry Potter.
Hang on one second.
Is he you?
Yeah, in terms of his opinion of Harry Potter, yes he is.
Right, just checking.
So we've listened to a lot of music here on the Coca-Cola New Music Podcast over the last 11 months.
We have, it's been delightful and an amazing mix of styles.
Yeah, but I wonder what's going to happen in the next 12 months.
Jim Morrison came pretty close.
There's a good interview with him on a documentary called The Soft Parade, where he's being interviewed on a music show, and he says, heavily bearded, in around 1969, he says, I think in the future music is going to be made by, like, there won't be too many bands, it'll be just like one person and a machine.
And the rest of the band kind of look at him askance, kind of, what are you talking about, Morrison, you lunatic?
And it sounds... And he was predicting Howard Jones.
Howard Jones, exactly.
Brilliant.
And then he goes, well, this is the thing, he goes on to say, and probably when that person, one person with their machine does concerts, he'll employ a guy with chains to dance around on the stage.
Did he really say that?
Yeah, he says that.
Wow.
It's amazing.
And then he goes on to say,
Also, there'll probably be like a five girl band and they'll use the power that they have as girls and they'll spread the power all over the world in a way that makes people depressed.
Now, this is the last track that we've got for you this week, folks, of our roundup of the best of the Copenhagen Music Podcast with Adam and Jo over the last year.
And it's a lovely song.
A lovely song that would have been nice in the summertime if the summertime had bothered to happen this year, which it didn't.
Thanks, Al Gore!
Thanks very much!
But this is a lady from Greece, she's called Maza and it's a track called Info.
And just imagine for a time being that Al Gore hadn't ruined the weather for everyone and you were lying on a wonderful beach in the sunshine, sipping a beautiful cold woman and listening to this.
Delightful sounds from Greece there, that's Maza with Info.
Everything she said there sounded very erotic.
when she was killed.
I don't know.
I don't understand anything of what she said, but it sounded as if she wanted me really badly.
I could give you a little translation of some of those lyrics.
What are they?
Here we go.
I have a cup of sand.
Would you like me to pour it into your belly, Buton?
I could suck it out thereafter with a straw.
That would be sexy.
Also, look at your ears.
I've dribbled on them.
You like it?
You like it?
Ooh.
That's a rough translation.
I'm not saying it.
Really?
Yes.
Does it say anything about me specifically?
Hang on.
Sure, towards the end I heard her whispering my name.
Oh yes, she says, Joe Cornish.
Oh, he's long.
Is there any chance you could buy me some soap?
Why does she want soap?
I don't know.
It doesn't say.
That's it.
That's the only reference to you in there.
Well, that's a brilliant song and we hope that Mazza's hugely successful.
And that's it for our penultimate podcast.
We'll be back again in a couple of weeks with four more of our kind of favourite tracks from the last 12 months.
And maybe in the next podcast, we'll explain to you exactly why it's the last podcast.
Maybe.
Or maybe we won't.
Bye.
Love you.
Bye.
Bye.